At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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