he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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