So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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