need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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