You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
