i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
