put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
