her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
