I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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