I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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