Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
