I want to stick my p in your. b.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
