just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
