i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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