I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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