The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize