Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
