just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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