i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
