I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
