i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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