The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
