omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
