Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
