I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
