I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
