Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
