Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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