hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize