its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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