tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
