my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
