i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
