i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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