I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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