he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
