You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
