And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
