i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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