their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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