My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
