it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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