New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
