there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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