Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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