mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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