Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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