I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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