We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
