She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
