dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
