I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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