I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
