bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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