his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
