i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
