I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
