Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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