Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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