Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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