No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.