I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
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I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
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Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar