question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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