there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
as a side note pls kill me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
