I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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