If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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